Your thoughts…




The Cosby’s, Obama’s & Carters

The epitome of Alpha Relationships

Back in the day, we all tuned into the classic sitcom that illustrated a parenting duo who served as a doctor and lawyer in their community– The Cosby Show. Forty-four presidents later, America was able to witness and appreciate the transcending dynamic of a black first-family in the White House – Barack & Michelle Obama. Over a decade we have witnessed two of entertainments most notable stars climb the charts and become one of the world’s most powerful families – Jay-Z & Beyonce Carter.

Why do we love these couples!?

I’m sure we all have our opinions. However, there are facts we cannot ignore:

  • Both spouses are successful
  • Both spouses could comfortably survive and enjoy life on a basic level without the other
  • The Cosby Show is fictional
  • Barack wasn’t President Obama prior to meeting Michelle
  • Beyonce had her own well before Jay came into her life
  • Jay had his own well before Beyonce came  into his life

jayz and beyonce at inaguaration

A few weeks ago I was in a meeting with two successful black women. Both were well in their forties. Both were well educated. One was married and the other was divorced. As the meeting adjourned, we found ourselves talking about life… then relationships.

The divorce lady began to suggest that men are intimated by successful women. I politely challenged her statement.  I explained my fellow men 35 & below are no longer intimidated as much. In fact, my circle of friends appreciates ambitious women. I further stated how I could understand men in their forties (40’s) may still be intimidated. Unlike them, my generation grew up in households were the culture of mothers making more than fathers was a norm.

The married woman agreed with me and acknowledges her financial success is not an issue in her household. She expressed her frustration with women who subtly imply or use disagreements to remind their spouse who is earning more money.

The conversation was very constructive. By the end of the topic, all three of us were seeing eye-to-eye.

Later, in our conversation I suggested a theory. And before I continue, I have to point out some things. There is a fundamental difference between a successful person and an alpha male or female. Success is a result of perception and is decided based on an individuals’ opinion. To be an alpha male or female, there is little doubt he or she is a pioneer in their field, the captain, star or of high rank of their community. Everyone can be successful …but everyone can’t be an alpha.

With that said, women are becoming more ambitious and successful. A new species is evolving and progressively taking over – the Alpha Female. Alpha women are more prevalent than ever. Yes, there have always been alpha women in our societies; but never this many. The households’ bread-winner started to shift in the mid-late 80’s…and men didn’t know how to handle it. Women were still domesticated and felt a commitment to take care of home,  just simply made more money. Now the Alpha Women are becoming more engulf by their career and the qualities desired by men are becoming extinct. And subconsciously women are dropping the ball of teaching their daughters the necessity of domestic skills or relationship bonding. Men could care less if you make more money – GREAT! But, what kind of woman do you have when the executive hat must be removed and its time to relax, have fun and focus on your spouse/family.

Regardless if you agree or disagree, another question eventually arises…


We Talking Millions

Jay-Z, Diddy & 50 Cent Worth vs Business Minds

It all started around 11 o’clock on a Saturday morning. A couple of friends and I were in the den working on different projects and talking casual business. I played one of my favorite quotes from track one (1) of Jay-Z’s American Gangster Album:

The man I worked for had one of the biggest companies in New York City. He didn’t own his own company – a white man owned it…So they owned him

– Frank Loucas (Played by Denzel Washington in the actual movie American Gangster)

From there we intellectually discussed, researched & debated wealth, innovation, legacies & business minds of hip hop moguls.

In my opinion Sean Carter (Jay-Z) pioneered the possibility of investing outside of the hip-hop music deals – corporately flipping his fortune. After him, several artist followed suit with his blue print – consciously or subconsciously. Jay-Z was one of hip-hops first moguls. This morning my friends passionately debated with me for hours about,

Who was the better business mind – Jay-Z, Diddy or 50 Cent?

One  friend, in support of Curtis Jackson (50 Cent), argued 50’s investment portfolio yielded the highest growth rate in shortest amount of time. I argued,

Student always produce more efficiently then the teacher.

It’s the concept of wisdom vs. knowledge. How long it took Curtis Jackson to attain his wealth is irrelevant to his superiority over Jay-Z’s business mind. Jay-Z created his fortune in a time when it was not thought of in the hip-hop community. By the time 50 Cent amass his fame and fortune the possibilities and timing of hip hop encompass a new persona.

Diddy has amass the most fortune between the three. Based on net worth, there is not a better source then Forbes List. Based on Forbes 2011 Top Five Hip Hop Wealthiest Artist, our three candidates were all ranked. The order was as follows – Diddy, Jay-Z, then 50 Cent.

Jay-Z is still putting out classics. 50 Cent is still starring in movies. Diddy, Jay-Z and 50 Cent are still amassing millions through diverse entrepreneurial endeavors. Regardless of who is currently at the top… or the difference in net worth, the question is…

It Just Happened

We’re suppose to be friends!

Look, we all have a friend that cries wolf. You know, the friend that claims they dated someone and exaggerates the extent of the relationship. Or worse, they lie all together. Maybe your friend claims they smashed, later to find out they never kissed!

Quite frankly, that is not cool. First off, does anyone believe in discretion anymore? Second, who lies about having sex with someone? That’s a bold sign of insecurity – high school mentality.

Now on the other hand, there are situations where your friend dates a guy or girl and nothing really happens. Maybe your friend met someone and they:

  • Only went on one (1) date and never spoke again
  • Went on several dates but nothing transpired
  • Satisfied each others sexual needs for a period of time
  • Dated back in high school, college or a couple of years ago
  • Dated but your friend didn’t really like the person – it was just something to do
  • Dated but the person didn’t really like your friend (you could just tell)

The list of scenerio’s go on and on. The complexities may not be as extreme. But what if they were? What if they are?

What if you randomly met someone and really liked that person – They were easy on the eyes, fun, intellectual, grounded, no visible baggage, the conversation was refreshing and the possibilities were endless – only to find out they dated your friend?

What if you ended up connecting with someone who dated your friend? And yes, you knew. However, you did  not expect to start liking him/her. Maybe y’all were friends before. Maybe y’all became friends after their relationship. Maybe y’all ran into each other at a social event and had a couple of drinks. Maybe y’all cross paths through business.

Regardless of how you met…


Everybody knows…but nobody REALLY knows

After everything you have seen, learned & experienced (in some cases, still experiencing), what are your thoughts about marriage now? Some of us are still boo’d up, just established a “committed” relationship, been in a relationship longer than 3 years, engaged or married. Others of us are very-much single, playing the field, just broke up, ended an engagement or going through a divorce. Either way, our views on committed relationships have veered to the left or right since high school, college and post college – for better or worst.

Now marriage, that’s another level. Our grandparents jumped the broom as early as 18. Our parents married in the early 20’s. My friends have decided to tie the knot in the mid-to-late 20’s.

But on the flipside, there is divorce. I am aware of several failed engagements and divorces in their late 20’s – early 30’s. I am sure you are too. Regardless of “why” they happened, when is the right time to marry? Does anybody really know?

Can you tell us…

  1. When people hit their late 20s, early 30s they start to really understand life and therefore handle situations more maturely. At this point in life, people also have been through several relationships or situations with people that have thought them things.

  2. There needs to be understanding with the friends on the situation and communication because everyone has different standards and values the go by.

  3. It has to do with maturity and how prepared both parties are to endure this path and responsibility.

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