Author Archives: Heisman.
Let there be no doubt, good men know the value of having an amazing woman and respecting her perfect imperfections –
Lets Always Grow Together
Equally, He knows it is very important to serve as a positive male influence and reference for women.He knows one day they will be mothers. How he treats women may directly or indirectly influence her perception & teachings as a mother
Let there be no doubt, men must exemplify an
in our women/mothers joy, access to resources & personal development. The success and growth of our women/mothers are directly correlated to the quality of our communities. The daughter or son she raises will be the leaders of tomorrow.
The man who doesn’t value and drive home a sense of reassurance that women are our most valued asset, is the man who doesn’t maximize the value and direction of his community. The growth of men & women, mothers & fathers, sons & daughters in the 21st century relies on innovative processes and platforms… The ability to mobilize the masses and the sincere intent to inclusively communicate and find solutions.
We must be the type of person we want to meet. We must make sure our intentions are 100% aligned with the #cause… if not, Time will reveal and we may indirectly damage what we thought we were building & impacting.
How about the Relationship Box?
We both had our share of dating over the years,
Some were amazing …others were “Eh.”
Some relationships organically blossomed,
…others were forced emotions, thoughts & actions.
Some nights we laid in bed feeling empty & lonely,
…Other nights we gladly proclaimed, “Single For The Night!”
We’ve had our share of pleasant surprises #Refreshing,
…we’ve had our share of disappointments.
How do we stay hopeful & optimistic? How do we consistently be OUR best in the next relationship regardless of knowing the outcome?
Vulnerability is a powerful thing – it isn’t for the weak, selfish, bitter or immature,
It is the gateway to understanding the importance of
Expressed Expectation, Foundation & Shared Contribution.
It allows us to fail and still grow,
It allows us to become more in-tune with what makes us feel good.
Before we start dating again, we have to consciously move forward and refresh our mind, body and soul from the previous relationships. This allows us to rid baggage and become prepared to offer what a new relationship needs –
Regardless of not knowing the outcome, we have to be humble & vulnerable enough to commit to being the best person, friend #lover #Spouse we can be. Through this character and sincere intent, we will attract the right person, friend, lover, soul mate •
It is necessary. It’s is Truth.
Let’s both focus on becoming a better US!
I had to expound on this one. Do you remember this?
We all have that one person that (at one point of our life) we would have done anything for he/she to like us back …
But they didn’t …And that’s ok. You lived for another day –
You Moved On.
We now realize there’s always a bigger plan in life. Everyday we see how God strategically places what and who we need in our life vs what and who we want.
As we mature in life and relationships we learn patience, timing, the
Beauty of moments…
we shift from knowing to understanding that
“Two Quality People Doesn’t Mean You Are Compatible”
There are so many elements that contribute to TRUE compatibility – Timing, Upbringing, Past Experiences, Past Relationship Experiences, Values, Religion/Spirituality, the Balance of religion and spirituality, Sex, Financial Status (or lack of), Family Structure, Family Outlook, Personality, Goals, Optimism or lack-of, Hobbies, Thoughts about Gender Roles, present Mental state, Future Vision, Reputation /Image (whether true or false), First Impression, First Date, First Kiss… And the list goes on and on.
When things don’t work out –
Grow From It.
Analyze what BOTH of y’all did GREAT and take an honest inventory of what could have been better. You never know when the Law Of Attraction will reward your patience and growth.
Focus on being a better YOU!
A few months ago, I posted the following. Now I would love to explore this concept further…
Ladies, have you ever been so aligned with who you are and what you want from life that you didn’t notice, nor care, what people may have thought?
You pursued your vision relentlessly!! …Big or small. It never crossed your mind to look up and wonder what everyone was thinking. Without justifying your actions, everyone knows your focus. You won’t stop until you win
This mission is who you are. You have asked yourself over and over again,
Who Am I?
Everyday you wake up with Intent & Purpose – or the desire to find your purpose …life’s a journey.
Well ladies… to a confident, ambitious, sincere & humble 21st century man (who is a doer), that’s sh*t is Sexy.
He is NOT intimidated.
This man can sense the Passion and Dedication miles away. It’s in the way you carry yourself – Poise
…the language you use to articulate your thoughts
He Loves It!
He becomes infatuated by the mere thought & concept of “we.” It makes a man who is passionate about his work …MAKE TIME… to support your dreams. He wants you to be even more amazing! He wants you to be Happy, Successful & Fulfilled.
Moral Of Story:
Focus on becoming a better YOU!
Imagine how powerful, inspiring & loving we can be together!
In the meantime, while we search
Become a better YOU!
On a philosophical level, when we focus on the things that make us happy, fulfill us and truly reflect who we are and who we desire to be… The universe delivers us the right people (friends, business partners, mentors & etc). So the same has to be true about our love!
Want to attract the right people in your life?
Focus on being a better YOU!
Want to be a better business woman or man?Focus on being a better YOU!
There is a direct correlation… Its a philosophical truth!
Back in the day, we all tuned into the classic sitcom that illustrated a parenting duo serving as a doctor and lawyer in their community– The Cosby Show. Forty-four presidents later, America was able to witness and appreciate the transcending dynamic of a black first-family in the White House – Barack & Michelle Obama. Over a decade we have witnessed two of entertainments most notable stars climb the charts and become one of the world’s most powerful families – Jay-Z & Beyonce Carter.
Why do we love these couples!?
I’m sure we all have our opinions. However, there are facts we cannot ignore:
- Both spouses are successful
- Both spouses could comfortably survive and enjoy life on a basic level without the other
- The Cosby Show is fictional
- Barack wasn’t President Obama prior to meeting Michelle
- Beyonce had her own well before Jay came into her life
- Jay had his own well before Beyonce came into his life
A few weeks ago, I was in a meeting with two successful black women. Both were well in their forties. Both were well educated. One was married and the other was divorced. As the meeting adjourned, we found ourselves talking about life… then relationships.
The divorce lady began to suggest men are intimated by successful women. I politely challenged her statement. I explained my fellow men, 32 & younger, are no longer intimidated by successful women as much. In fact, my circle appreciates ambitious women. I further stated how I could understand men in their forties (40’s) may still be intimidated. Unlike them, my generation grew up in households were the culture of mothers making more money was not foreign or taboo.
The married woman agreed with me. She acknowledged her husband did not have an issue with her financial success. She expressed her frustration with women who subtly imply or use disagreements to remind their spouse who is earning more money.
The conversation was very constructive. By the end of the topic, all three of us were seeing eye-to-eye.
Later, in our conversation I suggested a theory. But, before I continue, I have to clarify some things. There is a fundamental difference between a successful person and an alpha male or female. Success is a result of perception and is decided based on an individuals’ opinion. To be an alpha male or female, there is little doubt he or she is a pioneer in their field, the captain, star or highly ranked in their community. Everyone can be successful …but everyone can not be an alpha.
With that said, today women are becoming more ambitious and successful. A new species is evolving and progressively taking over – the Alpha Female. Alpha women are more prevalent than ever. Yes, there have always been alpha women in our societies; but never this many. The households’ bread-winner started to shift in the mid-late 80’s…and men didn’t know how to handle it. However, in the 80’s and 90’s, the women were still domesticated and felt a commitment to “take care of home.”
Today Alpha Women are becoming more engulf in their career and the qualities desired by men are becoming extinct. Subconsciously women are forgetting to teach their daughters the necessity of domestic skills and relationship bonding. In 2013, men do not care if she makes more money – he is more concerned about having a job or being successful in his own career.
I love ambitious women. Everyone knows I am very self-driven – its an intrinsic quality. Thus, I understand the desire to be fulfilled and “successful.” I could care less if she makes more money then me – let me hold a dollar. Lol
On another note, I’m a southern guy. You will never have to take out the trash, cut the grass, fix things, worry about feeling protected, respected or secure. I’m going to open the door for you, casually grab your a%s from time-to-time and focus on the little things.
Ladies, in the midst of all your college degrees, six-figure jobs and promotions, do you know how to iron? Wash clothes? Clean? Be fun? Intimate? …Hell, do you know how to cook? Can we get, at least, one meal a month?
Today we live in a world where balance is everything. Being domesticated with no skill-set or desire to work is not enough. Being successful with no life isn’t living.
The 21st century man finds himself asking,
“What kind of woman are you when the executive hat must be removed and its time to relax, have fun, be a lover and focus on your spouse/family?
Regardless if you agree or disagree, another question eventually arises…
#ThatMoment you realize you can do anything you want to do and be anything you want to be – the possibilities!!!
#ThatMoment you make time to plan it out – goals
#ThatMoment you start to implement your plan – initiative
#ThatMoment you feel closer than ever to your dream – beginners luck
#ThatMoment you encounter impeding forces, yet still remain confident from premature progress and success – optimism
#ThatMoment you realize you haven’t been winning lately – honest inventory
#ThatMoment you face the facts but keep the faith – pragmatic
#ThatMoment you recognize you can’t do this by yourself – pray
#ThatMoment you wonder if He is listening – God
#ThatMoment you cry – humility
#ThatMoment you reconsider – doubt
#ThatMoment you experience and confront the fundamental truth – process to progress
#ThatMoment you question yourself and the initial epiphany – dream deferred?
#ThatMoment you exclude yourself from your closet friends and family – darkness
#ThatMoment you have an urge, sign or inkling to keep going – don’t quit
#ThatMoment you consciously decide to embrace the adversity – stay the course
#ThatMoment you know that you know – Passion
#ThatMoment you are going through your daily routine and THE chance presents itself – opportunity
#ThatMoment you seize your opportunity with flying colors – Preparation
#ThatMoment you realized you work hard to get there and life is back on track – relief
#ThatMoment you lose everything – life
#ThatMoment you become confused and angry – numb
#ThatMoment you realize you will keep pushing and do it over all over again – determined
#ThatMoment you realized a year has passed – reality
#ThatMoment you make a chose to either keep going or stop – decision
#ThatMoment you go through the motions seeking a sign – vulnerability
#ThatMoment you know your passion still fuels your dream – revelation
#ThatMoment you realize, at the end of the day, that means nothing – deflation
#ThatMoment you remember to embrace the adversity – motivation
#ThatMoment you give someone else advice and realize it was for you – reflection
#ThatMoment you become thankful for what God has done thus far – outlook
#ThatMoment you are happy – inspite of
#ThatMoment you realize the key to success is the ability to reinvent it over and over – consistency
#ThatMoment you understand the importance of working harder AFTER you achieve – drive
#ThatMoment you vow to never make that mistake again – wisdom
He’s impressed by her ambition with little regard to what he thinks.
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