The Cosby’s, Obama’s & Carter’s


Back in the day, we all tuned into the classic sitcom that illustrated a parenting duo serving as a doctor and lawyer in their community– The Cosby Show. Forty-four presidents later, America was able to witness and appreciate the transcending dynamic of a black first-family in the White House – Barack & Michelle Obama. Over a decade we have witnessed two of entertainments most notable stars climb the charts and become one of the world’s most powerful families – Jay-Z & Beyonce Carter.

Why do we love these couples!?

I’m sure we all have our opinions. However, there are facts we cannot ignore:

  • Both spouses are successful
  • Both spouses could comfortably survive and enjoy life on a basic level without the other
  • The Cosby Show is fictional
  • Barack wasn’t President Obama prior to meeting Michelle
  • Beyonce had her own well before Jay came into her life
  • Jay had his own well before Beyonce came into his life

jayz and beyonce at inaguaration

A few weeks ago, I was in a meeting with two successful black women. Both were well in their forties. Both were well educated. One was married and the other was divorced. As the meeting adjourned, we found ourselves talking about life… then relationships.

The divorce lady began to suggest men are intimated by successful women. I politely challenged her statement. I explained my fellow men, 32 & younger, are no longer intimidated by successful women as much. In fact, my circle appreciates ambitious women. I further stated how I could understand men in their forties (40’s) may still be intimidated. Unlike them, my generation grew up in households were the culture of mothers making more money was not foreign or taboo.

The married woman agreed with me. She acknowledged her husband did not have an issue with her financial success. She expressed her frustration with women who subtly imply or use disagreements to remind their spouse who is earning more money.

The conversation was very constructive. By the end of the topic, all three of us were seeing eye-to-eye.

Later, in our conversation I suggested a theory. But, before I continue, I have to clarify some things. There is a fundamental difference between a successful person and an alpha male or female. Success is a result of perception and is decided based on an individuals’ opinion. To be an alpha male or female, there is little doubt he or she is a pioneer in their field, the captain, star or highly ranked in their community. Everyone can be successful …but everyone can not be an alpha.

With that said, today women are becoming more ambitious and successful. A new species is evolving and progressively taking over – the Alpha Female. Alpha women are more prevalent than ever. Yes, there have always been alpha women in our societies; but never this many. The households’ bread-winner started to shift in the mid-late 80’s…and men didn’t know how to handle it. However, in the 80’s and 90’s, the women were still domesticated and felt a commitment to “take care of home.”

Today Alpha Women are becoming more engulf in their career and the qualities desired by men are becoming extinct. Subconsciously women are forgetting to teach their daughters the necessity of domestic skills and relationship bonding. In 2013, men do not care if she makes more money – he is more concerned about having a job or being successful in his own career.

I love ambitious women. Everyone knows I am very self-driven – its an intrinsic quality. Thus, I understand the desire to be fulfilled and “successful.” I could care less if she makes more money then me – let me hold a dollar. Lol

On another note, I’m a southern guy. You will never have to take out the trash, cut the grass, fix things, worry about feeling protected, respected or secure. I’m going to open the door for you, casually grab your a%s from time-to-time and focus on the little things.

Ladies, in the midst of all your college degrees, six-figure jobs and promotions, do you know how to iron? Wash clothes? Clean? Be fun? Intimate? …Hell, do you know how to cook? Can we get, at least, one meal a month?

Today we live in a world where balance is everything. Being domesticated with no skill-set or desire to work is not enough. Being successful with no life isn’t living.

The 21st century man finds himself asking,

“What kind of woman are you when the executive hat must be removed and its time to relax, have fun, be a lover and focus on your spouse/family?

Regardless if you agree or disagree, another question eventually arises…


About Heisman.

Hello Everyone, My number is 4. My sign? Libra. My purpose? Inspire. I am a young professional who has earned every penny...but helped by many. I am humble, bless & thankful. I want to change the world...but not by myself. I seek to maintain, rejuvenate and expand my circle of social innovators - The ambitious communities who are not afraid to try something new. The ones who understand vision, investment and the process to progress. Let's take a ride. We can reminisce, laugh, cry (well I'm a grown ass my eyes might get watery, but its because of my allergies), disagree, debate...but the best part about this is... together we are venturing into the world of possibility. You don't know what to expect and I damn sure don't either. So lets go. Lets try something new... Hmmmm... Such a beautiful experience. Wouldn't you agree?

Posted on June 10, 2013, in Dating, Quotes, Relationships, Success, Thoughts of Praying Man. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. What people don’t realize is that this alpha couple is not going to have two alphas in the relationship at the same time. At certain times one or the other is going to lead and the other should follow. The only way it will work is if they play their roles.

    Secondly, Most individuals who think they are “alpha” in character are not. And that is OK. Play your role.

    • An Alpha couple, just as you stated does not mean that both are Alphas. Let’s take the J and B couple. Both are Alphas in their gender. However that does not mean that they will take the same roll in their relationships. I am pretty sure J wears that Pants in that relationship but he is smart enough to know when to let B take the lead role. That should be the case in any relationship. Good Alphas know when to take a step back and let the “pack” fend for themselves. Now in saying this I am not saying let them loose, but you have to take a step back and let the situation unfold in a manner that is conducive to both parties.

      Now to answer your question, No Alpha men and women cannot coexist if both are trying to be head of the relationship. There are never two Alphas in a pack. NEVER! In the animal kingdom one has to die or be a castaway. It’s the same in a relationship. Everyone needs to know their place society. However, your place in Society does not translate into your place in a relationship. Just ask Beyonce.

  2. Exactly! Ultimately I am eluding to the “roles” or lack of outside of work. The roles lived in the household when both parties care less what the others profession/status is.

    And lastly, you are right again! I was waiting for someone to acknowledge this! Thats why I made a disclaimer in my post and described the difference between successful ppl and alpha men/women.

    Thank you for your response! Great remarks!

    • The sad thing is that many people correlate success with dominance. Not the same. You can be successful and submissive in a realationship or vice versa. The relationship hierachy has nothing to do wtih your success in your profession.

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